The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland − every day it’s Dublin.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

The best time on a clock is 6:30 – hands down.

“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.

The Worst Conductor in the Railroad Business

Two hats are hanging on a hat rack. One says to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

I want to find the person who stole my toilet, but I have nothing to go on.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.